How can I help my child with worries or anxiety?

 

Understanding worries

Feeling worried is a normal part of growing up. Many children experience worries from time to time. These could be about friendships, schoolwork, change or new situations. These feelings often come and go, and with steady support, most children gradually learn how to manage them. When children understand that worries are common and manageable, they feel less alone and more able to cope.

 

Recognising signs

Children show worries in different ways. Some may talk openly; others may express anxiety through behaviour. You might notice changes in sleep, appetite, concentration or mood. Some children become quieter, seek reassurance or avoid certain situations. These signs are a way of communicating that they need help to feel safe and secure.

 

Helpful routines

Predictable routines at home can reduce uncertainty and provide a sense of safety. A consistent pattern for mornings, after school and bedtime helps children know what to expect and makes transitions feel calmer. Talking about the day ahead, preparing belongings together and allowing extra time for change can help children feel more at ease.

 

Practical ways to support at home

Listening calmly is one of the most helpful things adults can do. Giving children time to express worries without rushing to fix them helps them feel heard. Sometimes, simply naming the feeling - “It sounds like you are feeling worried about…” - brings comfort.

Children benefit from learning simple strategies, such as slow breathing or grounding techniques (noticing what they can see, hear or feel). These approaches reduce physical tension and help children feel more settled. Calming activities, such as colouring, reading, time outside or quiet play, can also help children regulate after a busy or tricky day.

Some children like having a small notebook to draw or jot down worries as they come to mind. Knowing there is a place to “put” worries can ease the pressure to hold onto them. Agreeing on a regular time during the day to look at the notebook together helps contain worries so they do not spill into bedtime.

Breaking challenges into smaller steps can make things feel manageable. For example, if a child is worried about trying a new club, visiting beforehand, meeting the adult in charge or attending with a friend can support confidence. Having a simple plan for situations that feel difficult. Discussing who to talk to, where to go, what to do first, gives children a sense of control.

Gently challenging “all-or-nothing” thoughts can help children recognise successes. If a child says, “I can’t do this,” you might explore times when they managed something similar. Noticing even small moments of bravery reassures children that feelings change and skills grow.

 

Keeping communication open

Talking regularly about feelings helps children learn that emotions are part of everyday life. You might ask:

• How did you feel during…?
• What helped you today?
• Is there something you would like to talk about tomorrow?

Stories, books or films can provide gentle ways to explore feelings together, helping children recognise that others experience similar emotions. Using these shared examples often makes it easier for children to express their own thoughts.

 

How school supports emotional wellbeing

Children are encouraged to share how they are feeling with trusted adults in school. Staff help them use strategies that promote calm and regulation. The Zones of Regulation are used across the school to help children notice and name their feelings, recognise how emotions affect choices and learn ways to return to a calmer state.

We also help children learn to judge the size of a problem. The idea of “How big is the problem?” encourages pupils to pause, think about what has happened, and match their response to the situation. This helps children look at problems more objectively and supports them in choosing an appropriate strategy - for example, deciding whether something can be solved independently, with a friend, or if they need an adult.

When worries affect a child’s experience in school, we work alongside families to understand what is happening and to put support in place. This may include check-ins with a familiar adult, quiet spaces at busy times or opportunities to practise strategies that help them feel secure.

 

Talking to your child about worries

Talking about worries is easier when children trust that adults will listen. Open, curious questions can help them explore their feelings, such as:

• When did you first notice this feeling?
• What helps you when it feels difficult?
• Who helps you feel safe?

Reassurance is important, but it is also helpful to notice times when things have gone well. Highlighting strengths  builds confidence and shows children that feelings are temporary.

 

Supporting independence over time

As children grow, they learn that feelings can change and that they can use strategies to help themselves. Understanding “How big is the problem?” helps children pause and think before reacting. This reflective step encourages them to consider whether the worry is small and short-lived, something that needs a bit of help, or a bigger concern that requires adult support.
This helps children feel more in control and reduces the sense of overwhelm.

Encouraging them to notice what helps - talking to someone, taking a break, breathing slowly, playing outside or engaging in a favourite hobby - builds a useful personal toolkit. Over time, children begin choosing strategies that help them feel calmer and more confident.

Praising effort rather than outcomes supports independence: “You were brave to try even though you were unsure.” As children experience success, they gain trust in their ability to manage challenges while knowing that adults are available when needed.

 

When further help is needed

If worries begin to affect daily life, such as avoiding school, withdrawing from friends or struggling with sleep, please speak to us. Working together helps us understand your child’s needs and plan the right support. We can offer guidance, put practical strategies in place and signpost further help if needed. Early conversations can make a big difference.

 

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/children-and-young-adults/advice-for-parents/anxiety-in-children/

https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-a-z-mental-health-guide/anxiety/