How can I help my child with friendships?
Why friendships matter
Friendships play an important role in children’s wellbeing. Through their relationships, children learn how to share, take turns, negotiate and solve problems together. Positive friendships support confidence, belonging and emotional development. Learning how to build and maintain these relationships takes time; children will have moments of success and challenge as they grow, and both are part of healthy social development.
Helpful routines
Children benefit from regular opportunities to spend time with peers in relaxed, low-pressure situations. Playdates, small group activities or shared interests, such as sport, craft or clubs, can help friendships grow naturally. Encouraging children to talk about their day and the people they enjoy spending time with provides insight into the relationships they are developing. Modelling friendly behaviour at home, such as taking turns in games or using polite language, helps children understand what positive interactions look and feel like.
Practical ways to support friendships
Talking with your child about what makes a good friend can help them recognise qualities like kindness, honesty and respect. When difficulties arise, guide children in thinking about perspectives: “How did that make you feel?” and “How do you think your friend felt?” can encourage empathy.
Sometimes children need support rehearsing social situations before they happen. Role-playing introductions, problem-solving or asking to join a game can help build confidence. It is helpful to remind children that friendships can look different - some children have lots of friends, while others prefer a few close relationships. Both are normal.
You might also support your child to recognise when they need time alone, how to ask for space, or how to manage a misunderstanding. These conversations build emotional awareness and self-advocacy in social situations.
When friendships feel challenging
It is normal for children to experience disagreements, changes in friendship groups or moments of feeling left out. These challenges can feel difficult at the time, but they provide important opportunities to learn resilience, communication and problem-solving.
Rather than stepping in to solve the problem immediately, it can help to listen calmly and acknowledge your child’s feelings. Supporting them in thinking about what happened, what they might do next and who could help builds independence. If conflict persists or becomes upsetting, contacting school early allows everyone to work together to support your child.
How school supports friendships
In school, children are encouraged to treat one another with respect and kindness. Staff help children develop skills such as turn-taking, listening and sharing during learning and play. When disagreements arise, we use a restorative approach to support children in understanding one another’s perspectives, recognising the impact of their actions and agreeing positive ways forward. This helps children learn how to repair relationships and maintain friendships more independently over time.
Opportunities such as group work, buddy systems and playground activities encourage children to build connections with a range of peers. Staff monitor children’s social interactions and offer support where needed, working closely with families when worries arise.
Talking together
Time spent talking with your child about their friendships gives them a safe space to share experiences. Open questions such as “Who did you enjoy spending time with today?” or “How did you include others?” help them reflect on social situations in a positive way. Encouraging children to recognise what went well , not just what felt difficult, helps build confidence and resilience.
Sharing stories or books about friendship can prompt conversation and gently explore feelings or dilemmas. Modelling language such as “I felt disappointed but I tried again” helps children understand that challenges are normal and manageable.
Supporting independence and confidence
As children grow, they learn how to navigate friendships with increasing independence. Practising simple skills, such as introducing themselves, asking someone to play or calmly explaining how they feel, strengthens communication. Encouraging children to recognise what they enjoy in friendships helps them make thoughtful choices about who they spend time with.
Children also benefit from learning how to take responsibility when things do not go well, offering apologies and listening to others’ feelings. These experiences contribute to resilience and to friendships that can change and grow over time.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/grownups/help-your-child-make-friends-at-primary-school